Fatherless by Suicide Project Index


Year my parents met as high school sweethearts in Kansas: 1966

Year they wed: 1970

Year I was born: 1978

Year my father took his life: 1981

Year that suicide surpassed homicide as a reported cause of death in the United States: 1981

Rank of suicide as a reported casue of death then: 9th

Age of my father when he died: 32

Age I was when he died: 3

Age I am now: 36

Years I tried very hard not talking about my father's death: 33

Rank of suicide as a reported cause of death in the United States in 2012: 10th

Number of reported suicide deaths per day: 111

Number of minutes that pass before someone takes their life: 13

For each single reported death by suicide, the estimated number of people who have attempted: 12

Estimated ratio of suicide attempts to suicide death in youth: 25:1

Percentage of suicide deaths in 2012 who were male: 78

Days before Fathers Day 2014 when I made a video and launched Fatherless by Suicide on Kickstarter: 2

Number of times my mom told me I should of got a haircut before filming: 7

Number of donors that supported the project: 160

Average donation: $79

Money raised to support the project via Kickstarter: $12,580

Money I could use after taxes and Kickstarter-related fees: $7,180

Estimated probono support: $5,000

Men who reached out to participate in the project: 24

Mothers who've lost their husbands to suicide who reached out: 8

Interviews I have set-up (in this phase of the project): 14

Interviews I conducted: 12

Hours of recordings: 20.75

Longest interview (hours): 2.5

Shortest interview (minutes): 49

Oldest person I interviewed: 85

Youngest person I interviewed: 21

Interviews I conducted after an impromptu conversation in a parking lot in rural Utah: 1

Number of wheels I traveled on to meet the participants: 2

Age of my motorcycle: 36

Engine size: 650cc

Miles traveled: 6472

Most miles traveled in one day: 636

Fastest speed: 104 miles per hour, Nevada desert 

Slowest speed: Brooklyn. Simply, Brooklyn.

Encounters with police: 0

Times I passed a police car: 7

Countries visited: 2

States visited: 22

National Parks visited: 6

Highest elevation: 12,000 feet

Lowest elevation: 214 feet below sea level

Quarts of oil burned or leaked during trip: 3

Times I pumped gas: 52

Amount I spent on gas: $608.82

Most expensive gas I purchased: $6.28 per gallon; Death Valley, California

Clutch cables snapped: 2

Mufflers broken off in Detroit due to crater-like potholes: 2

Wires replaced: 1

Fuses replaced: 3

Bulbs replaced: 2

Times I broke down on the side of the road: 3

Times when strangers stopped to help me: 3

Cost of all parts and labor to get me back on the road: $570.10

Presumed cost of an incredibly generous Kansan mechanic who revived my bike probono: $2,500.00

Total days spent on the road: 80

Consecutive days spent riding in the rain: 3

Other days spent riding in the rain after I learned how much that sucked: 0

Nights spent with friends and family: 69

Children I read nighttime stories to: 8

Books I read during the journey: 1

Cliche factor: 100%, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance 

Nights spent in a treehouse on a cliff surrounded by Aspen trees celebrating their full Fall radiance: 4

Nights spent out at sea on a 99-foot schooner as a gift while my replacement clutch cable shipped: 4

Pies I helped bake while aboard: 8

Nights spent in a tent: 8

Nights spent in a hammock: 1

Nights spent in a motel: 2

Cost: $152.53

Nights spent in a RV Park with my pocket knife in my hand due to a very sketchy neighbor: 1

Cost: $6.00

Emotional cost: Significant

Roadkill: skunks, 68 (until I stopped counting in Utah)

Roadkill: deer, 23

Times I had to swerve around deer: 4

Times I had to swerve around barking, frothing rabid dogs: 1

Times a Chinese tourist came within two inches of killing me with his Hertz SUV: 1

Number of fingers I used to express my feelings towards him: 1

Times my bike fell on me in a muddy ditch in Vermont while trying to take a shortcut through the woods: 1

Toes I likely broke due to that horrible decision: 1

Times I rode in the snow and sand, respectively: 1, 1

Times an elderly couple in Indiana approached me to put a wad of cash in my hand and said, "Gas is on us.": 1

Times I entered a vintage motorcycle competition: 1

Times I won anything at a vintage motorcycle competition: 0

Times I went to county fairs: 3

Times I took a date: 1

Times we rode the ferris wheel before I mustered up the gumption to kiss her (at the top; at dusk):  2